Download A Highly Unlikely Scenario, or a Neetsa Pizza Employee's by Rachel Cantor PDF

By Rachel Cantor

"Cosmic and comedian, choked with philosophy, mysticism and celestial whimsy. either profoundly wild and wildly profound."
--Charles Yu, writer of How to reside effectively in a technology Fictional Universe

In the not-too-distant destiny, competing significant quickly foodstuff factions rule the realm. Leonard works for Neetsa Pizza, the Pythagorean pizza chain, in a lonely yet hugely surveilled domestic place of work, answering calls on his proceedings hotline. It's a humdrum task, yet he likes it--there's a collection resolution for each state of affairs, and he by no means has to depart the home. other than then he starts off getting calls from Marco, who claims to be a thirteenth-century explorer simply again from Cathay. And what do you assert to a caller like that? Plus, Neetsa Pizza doesn't love it in the event you burst off script.

Meanwhile, Leonard's sister retains disappearing on mystery missions together with her "book club," leaving him to maintain his nephew, this means that Leonard has to head open air. and outdoors is the place the difficulty starts off.

A impressive debut novel in which medieval Kabbalists, infrequent booklet librarians, and Latter-Day Baconians skirmish for keep an eye on over mystery mystical wisdom, and one Neetsa Pizza worker discovers that you simply can't store the realm with pizza coupons.

Show description

Read Online or Download A Highly Unlikely Scenario, or a Neetsa Pizza Employee's Guide to Saving the World: A Novel PDF

Similar satire books

The Mouse on Wall Street

By no means has "the cash game" been extra deliciously uncovered than during this creative comedy-satire. Grand Fenwick's mystery weapon this time is its Grand Pinot chewing gum. on the end of its triumphant conflict opposed to the USA, the duchy had lodged production rights to the product in an American corporation, the place they'd lain dormant.

The Crying of Lot 49

The hugely unique satire approximately Oedipa Maas, a girl who unearths herself enmeshed in a world conspiracy, meets a few tremendous attention-grabbing characters, and attains a now not inconsiderable volume of self knowledge.


The sensational bestseller—a parody of Voltaire's satire Candide—about the horny naïf who merely desires to really provide of herself

Candy, that excellent, lovely, blameless lady, used to be born on Valentine's Day, and her Daddy says that's why she's so attractive. At her university in Racine, Wisconsin, in Professor Mephisto's lecture on philosophy and the way "deep and aching are the desires of man," sweet turns out to take his pronouncement to middle, dedicating the remainder of her days to, as Southern and Hoffenberg positioned it, "bringing the candy balm of her heat to all these lonely males on her exhausting route to non secular enlightenment. " there's the hunchback who explanations her to cry out in wild abandon, "Your hump! provide me your hump! ", the crazed gynecologist within the bar rest room who "examines" her, the salacious aunt, her father's lecherous dual brother, and the nutty Cracker beginning, the place her guru initiates her into the magical realm of "glandular mastery. " it's in Tibet, in the course of an earthquake, holy guy and the Buddha jointly lead her to complete . . . enlightenment.

Originally released lower than a pseudonym, this publication had the original honor of being banned in France, simply to develop into one of many bestselling novels of Nineteen Sixties America—one that introduced Southern and Hoffenberg either status and infamy. A e-book that, besides Lolita, broke the grip of yank literary censorship, sweet leaves you tantalized, scandalized, and susceptible with laughter.

This publication positive factors an illustrated biography of Terry Southern together with infrequent photographs and never-before-seen files from the author's property and a longer biography of Mason Hoffenberg.


Now, i do not are looking to get off on a rant here   the recent York instances referred to as Dennis Miller's The Rants "a wonderful mixture of profanity and wit. .. that might make enthusiasts of his irreverent liberal angst snigger out loud. " Readers around the kingdom truly agreed, as the booklet stayed at the instances hardcover bestseller record for months, with greater than 130,000 copies in print.

Additional info for A Highly Unlikely Scenario, or a Neetsa Pizza Employee's Guide to Saving the World: A Novel

Sample text

I looked for another solution. Tucker “Can’t we just fuck anyway? ” Girl “NO! ” Girl “Don’t you know anything about women? I’m at my fertility peak right now. These are the three days I am MOST likely to get pregnant. ” Girl “Pull and pray is not happening. ” Well, this fucking sucks. I rack my brain trying to think of something to do. I momentarily consider asking to use her car because there might be spare change in there. I ponder what it would take to steal money from her purse… when I look down and saw my used condom on the floor.

She walks into my room and from next to my bed, picks up a completely different purse, one I had not seen, digs through it, finds her wallet, and throws a driver’s license at me. The name on the license is Jennifer, and the picture looks like the angry Yeti standing in front of me. I’m so confused. ” I knew I shouldn’t say this. It was mean… but she is being such a bitch, I just couldn’t help it. Plus, she wasn’t very attractive. Tucker “I don’t know, but her purse is on the sofa. Can you send her over?

That’s really bad. But when you don’t have enough money to even go to $1 beer night, it’s an emergency. To solve this problem, I got a job with Princeton Review teaching the LSAT. The LSAT is the admissions test for law school, and is very difficult for most people. I on the other hand fucked that test so hard, Duke gave me an academic scholarship. Because of my high score, Princeton Review paid me $21 an hour to teach other people how to take it. I taught about 15 hours per week, which was barely enough to pay for my rent and beer, but I didn’t have to go to an office or really even have a boss, so it wasn’t a soulless job that sucked the life out of me, and it gave me time to write.

Download PDF sample

Rated 4.02 of 5 – based on 49 votes