Download A Highly Unlikely Scenario, or a Neetsa Pizza Employee's by Rachel Cantor PDF

By Rachel Cantor

"Cosmic and comedian, choked with philosophy, mysticism and celestial whimsy. either profoundly wild and wildly profound."
--Charles Yu, writer of How to reside effectively in a technology Fictional Universe

In the not-too-distant destiny, competing significant quickly foodstuff factions rule the realm. Leonard works for Neetsa Pizza, the Pythagorean pizza chain, in a lonely yet hugely surveilled domestic place of work, answering calls on his proceedings hotline. It's a humdrum task, yet he likes it--there's a collection resolution for each state of affairs, and he by no means has to depart the home. other than then he starts off getting calls from Marco, who claims to be a thirteenth-century explorer simply again from Cathay. And what do you assert to a caller like that? Plus, Neetsa Pizza doesn't love it in the event you burst off script.

Meanwhile, Leonard's sister retains disappearing on mystery missions together with her "book club," leaving him to maintain his nephew, this means that Leonard has to head open air. and outdoors is the place the difficulty starts off.

A impressive debut novel in which medieval Kabbalists, infrequent booklet librarians, and Latter-Day Baconians skirmish for keep an eye on over mystery mystical wisdom, and one Neetsa Pizza worker discovers that you simply can't store the realm with pizza coupons.

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Additional info for A Highly Unlikely Scenario, or a Neetsa Pizza Employee's Guide to Saving the World: A Novel

Sample text

I looked for another solution. Tucker “Can’t we just fuck anyway? ” Girl “NO! ” Girl “Don’t you know anything about women? I’m at my fertility peak right now. These are the three days I am MOST likely to get pregnant. ” Girl “Pull and pray is not happening. ” Well, this fucking sucks. I rack my brain trying to think of something to do. I momentarily consider asking to use her car because there might be spare change in there. I ponder what it would take to steal money from her purse… when I look down and saw my used condom on the floor.

She walks into my room and from next to my bed, picks up a completely different purse, one I had not seen, digs through it, finds her wallet, and throws a driver’s license at me. The name on the license is Jennifer, and the picture looks like the angry Yeti standing in front of me. I’m so confused. ” I knew I shouldn’t say this. It was mean… but she is being such a bitch, I just couldn’t help it. Plus, she wasn’t very attractive. Tucker “I don’t know, but her purse is on the sofa. Can you send her over?

That’s really bad. But when you don’t have enough money to even go to $1 beer night, it’s an emergency. To solve this problem, I got a job with Princeton Review teaching the LSAT. The LSAT is the admissions test for law school, and is very difficult for most people. I on the other hand fucked that test so hard, Duke gave me an academic scholarship. Because of my high score, Princeton Review paid me $21 an hour to teach other people how to take it. I taught about 15 hours per week, which was barely enough to pay for my rent and beer, but I didn’t have to go to an office or really even have a boss, so it wasn’t a soulless job that sucked the life out of me, and it gave me time to write.

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